Aside from the green-beer drunkies spilling out in hordes from bars everywhere in Midtown, or the pigheaded exclusion of gay groups from the St. Patrick's Day Parade, what other reason is there for staying in on St. Patrick’s Day? If bellying up, elbow-to-elbow in a crowded bar isn’t your thing, here’s a handful of classier ways to observe America’s drunkest holiday.

Macao Trading Co.: There are no jigs or bagpipes here on the 17th, just sweet jazz and hot burlesque. While the latter is a bit of an odd scourge on the New York drinking scene (bar doesn't offer women — always women! — artfully or not so artfully taking off their clothes these days?) the cocktails at Macao are always something to get excited about. R.S.V.P.at info@macaonyc.com or call. (311 Church St.; 212-431-8750)

Institute of Culinary Education: Consume your booze with a side of knowledge with Anthony Caporale (The Art of the Drink web series) and his whiskey and cheese event on March 17. You'll be drinking more than just Bushmills or Jameson—expect cocktails like a Buena Vista Irish Coffee. As expected for a St. Paddy's event, the cheese is from Ireland (via Murray’s Cheese Shop) the cost is $75. (50 W 23rd St., 800-522-4610)

Tavern 29: Those who'd just like an alternative to the typical Guinness or green-dyed beer will find beer cocktails like the powerful Black Velvet (Anderson Valley Wild Turkey Bourbon Stout and McKenzie's Seasonal Reserve cider) at Tavern 29. For a more straightforward spin on the stout, they're stocked up for St. Patrick's with American stouts from the likes of Bells, Left Hand and Blue Fin breweries. (47 E 29th St., 212-685-4422)

Louro: For those who'd rather eat than drink the spirit of the Irish, Louro offers a special set menu on St. Paddy's with clever plays on Irish classics. Love potatoes? Enjoy them in confit, scalloped and even foam form accompanying new-gen versions of shepard's pie, corned beef and Whiskey and cheddar soup. Best part? It's BYO, and just $65. Reserve with a call. (142 W 10th St., 212-206-0606)

The Dead Rabbit's Irish to the Core Event: Real-life bartenders from Northern Ireland, Jack McGarry and Sean Muldoon, will be shaking and stirring cocktails with lesser known Irish liquors like Knappogue Castle Single Malt Irish Whiskey, Clontarf 1014 Irish Whiskey, Boru Vodka, Celtic Honey Liqueur and Brady’s Irish Cream on Sunday afternoon. The $40 cost includes snacks to soak up some of the booze. (30 Water St., 646-422-7906)

Photo: Flickr user jpmpinmontreal